Listening Tip

Got a habitual nonlistening behaviour you'd like to manage better?

  •   Finishing someone else's sentence(s)
  •   Giving unsolicited advice
  •   Jumping in with a similar experience or story to the one
      you just heard

Try this three-element strategy

Why the three-element strategy works

Genuine people are congruent. They are authentic in their interest in you (INTEND), they show that interest in their body language and tone of voice (SHOW/SOUND), and in what they say verbally (SAY.) They align all 3 elements and never leave out one or two elements; and try to listen while limping along on only one or two elements.

Example: Let's see how the three-element strategy works to manage finishing sentences better.

INTENT: better understand this person or issue

SHOW/SOUND: sit back or sit forward and give distinct and appropriate eye contact.

SAY: repeat a key word or phrase that was just said. And then, ask a question based on that key word or phrase that uncovers further information.

And remember - what you use for your Intend, Show/Sound and Say doesn't have to be the examples I gave. You can invent or rely on a variety of your own. The main thing is that your Intention is authentic and it shows three things I think are important. VAR - that you genuinely value, appreciate and respect the other person.



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